The Whale, The Hat, and God’s Will

Today, Samuel lost his hat as he is looking down the water at the jetty. Meltdown ensued as we boarded the boat for a three-hr whale watching cruise. Mixed emotions and thoughts ran thru me: I wish we brought a spare hat, I wash I took that hat before he looked down. I panicked as I know we will be three hours away from anywhere we can get a new hat from,. Even Cocomelon can't make the sobbing stop. And most of all, my heart is breaking. My son needs something I cannot give. This happen in all less than ten minutes. He was still upset (mixed with it is also his naptime) all thru the three hour trip. He tried to enjoy the new things he sees, but I know he is still thinking about that. I am the emotional parent. I cried as Nikko took him from me cause we cant be both emotional.

Nikko on the other hand very sternly told him as we boarded, it's already gone. When Samuel finally calmed down, Nikko thinks it's a way for him to learn to let go, and to understand action comes with consequences. I was a bit reassured of that, but still my heart is breaking. But thank God for the man I married.

Then towards then end, Nikko told me we will definitely buy him a new hat but his heart is conflicted in wishing we would still find the hat when we get back to the island. He want him to learn a lesson, but a father's heart is a father's heart after all, he just wants his baby to be OK again.

I teared up a bit thinking about this as I type this aboard the cruise ship.

You see, before going to the island for this mini holiday for my 32nd birthday, we were house hunting. We spent our day of rest not resting at all instead we drag Inay (my mom) and Samuel in car for 7 hours driving around Brisbane North looking at houses just desperately wanting to find that house! We found one we liked yesterday, ticked all the boxes, but there are many offers already per the agent. I told Nikko to put an offer up... this is me just thinking I liked this house, you like this house, it's alight. I told Nikko if we see a mom & a calf whale in this cruise we will go for it.

But I know in my heart God is saying wait, I'll be the one to guide your path. It will be clear and not according to your terms.

So yeah, during the trip we saw a total of three mom/calf pairing. As the captain said, a rare sighting. So yeah, I know that God knows I want it now. I know in my heart God will sustain us whatever we decide on.

However, I know that he wanted to teach us deeper faith. He wants us to wait some more 'cause even though what we are after now is ok, actually what he has in store for us is better and it will definitely come wrapped with deeper faith and wisdom.

Just like if only Samuel will understand we will definitely get him a new (and better) hat (cause honestly the one that dropped was already dirty).

P.S. The hat was gone for good.

xx, Belle.